Bernard Defortescu





Capture d’écran 2017-06-27 à 15.26.49


Bartholomew Fortesque

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A TWIST IN THE TALE! Ben & Jerry’s New Advertising Campaign Launched in Ireland

This week (12th June) sees Ben & Jerry’s go one step further in its bid to establish itself as the ultimate ‘antidote to seriousness,’ with the unveiling of its latest ad campaign entitled ‘Legendairy’ Tongue Twisters.
Mirroring last year’s vibrant cartoon style, the campaign seeks to promote ‘punter participation’ by inviting onlookers to immerse themselves in a selection of brain bending tongue teasers. Four executions will feature in the campaign in Ireland with twisters featuring characters, Fr. Phil,
Bartholomew Fortesque, Gabby and Mo alluding to their favourite Ben & Jerry's flavours!
Following the success of last year's Dublin based "Legendairy" campaign, Ben & Jerry's have stepped up their activities in Ireland by including Cork in this 13 city, £1.4 million campaign (Ireland & UK).
According to Ben & Jerry's Marketing Manager Ian Hills: “Ireland remains a key focus for Ben & Jerry's with it's boom economy and high concentration of young professionals. Ireland's infamous sense of humour and unrivalled capacity to enjoy and indulge themselves has seen the public embrace the Ben & Jerry's brand. With year on year sales in ’99 up 400%, Ben & Jerry's will continue the transition from a quirky, niche ice cream to a credible national brand. Unilever fully endorses Ben & Jerry’s unconventional, fun focused stance and is keen to assist us as we compete with Haagen Dazs across all the trade sectors.”
The campaign can be spotted on 48 & 96 posters in Cork and Dublin, which will pave the way for Ben & Jerry’s first animated cinema cartoon breaking in September.
For further information:
Valerie Melinn: Mary Crotty PR, Tel: (01) 661 8777/ Fax: (01) 661 9138

Body Fortescue

Department of the Environment, Transport and the Regions
Press Notices
Press Notice 246: 29 March 2000
MAIB Samphire of Wells report published
The Marine Accident Investigation Branch (MAIB) has today published its report on the foundering of the 4.26m (14ft) dinghy Samphire of Wells on the North Norfolk Coast with the loss of two lives on16 December 1999.
Shortly after 1730 on 16 December 1999 the Maritime Rescue Co-ordination Centre (MRCC) Yarmouth informed the MAIB that a dinghy with two people on board was overdue on a passage from Burnham Overy Staithe to Wells-next-the-Sea. Later that evening the MAIB was informed that one body had been located. An investigation was initiated the next day and was conducted by the Chief Inspector of Marine Accidents, Rear Admiral John Lang.
At approximately 1130 on 16 December 1999, two men manning an open 4.26m (14ft) dinghy, Samphire of Wells, left Burnham Overy Staithe on the north Norfolk coast for the six and a half mile passage to Wells harbour. The weather was fine, sunny, with a light to moderate westerly breeze and high water neaps were predicted shortly before noon. The object of the passage was to take the dinghy to Wells to do some work on it and lay it up for the winter. It had spent the previous few weeks in Burnham Overy harbour.
The dinghy never arrived at Wells. During the early afternoon the partner of one of the occupants became concerned when it didn't appear, and raised the alarm. A search and rescue operation was initiated and at 1850 the Wells RNLI all-weather lifeboat (ALB) found the body of one of the two men floating upright in a pool among shoal water to the west of the Wells harbour channel. He was wearing a fully inflated lifejacket. When eventually landed, he was seen by a doctor and declared dead on arrival.
The second man was found dead six days later in the sea some seven miles to the north of Cromer. He too was wearing a fully inflated lifejacket.
There were no witnesses to the accident. Although one or two pieces of wreckage were found and were thought to have come from the missing dinghy, this could not be proved beyond doubt. Neither the dinghy, nor its remains, have ever been found.
The precise cause of the loss cannot be determined with accuracy. The investigation concludes that the dinghy most probably foundered while making the short open sea passage between Burnham Overy harbour and the entrance to Wells harbour.
The report makes recommendations to improve the chances of survival for occupants of small boats who find themselves thrown into the water.
(i) There was no overwhelming reason why it was necessary to transport Samphire of Wells by sea. Road transport was available and practical.
(ii) Samphire of Wells was suitable for use in sheltered waters but was vulnerable to being swamped in rough conditions such as might be experienced when crossing a bar or coasting after bad weather.
(iii) The weather on the day of the accident was good with a westerly force 2-3 blowing. On the preceding day a strong breeze to gale force northerly, and therefore onshore, wind had been blowing.
(iv) Both the occupants had sufficient knowledge to handle small craft competently but it is thought that specific knowledge of handling an open dinghy at sea with an inboard engine was less well established.
(v) The dinghy was believed to have been equipped with oars and an anchor but there is no evidence to indicate that flares or any form of radio were carried on the 16 December. It is probable a bailer was onboard and it is thought the electric bilge pump would have functioned.
(vi) The wreck, or hull, of the dinghy has never been found and has not, therefore, been examined, but it is probable that it shipped water before capsizing.
(vii) Both men were regarded as being careful and conscientious. Mr Cracknell had a reputation for being someone who did not take unnecessary risks.
(viii) Samphire of Wells sailed from Burnham Overy Staithe at about 1130 on 16 December and was, quite possibly, last seen to the east of the harbour entrance and heading eastwards.
(ix) A bar lies across the entrance channel to Burnham Overy harbour. Sailing directions, and those familiar with the harbour, advise against crossing the bar if there is any northing in the wind.
(x) There was breaking water at the Burnham Overy Harbour bar when Samphire of Wells crossed it.
(xi) 'White water' was observed along the shoreline at about 1150 on 16 December.
(xii) Both men were able to inflate their lifejackets either before, or very shortly after, being immersed in the sea. They would have found swimming very difficult with the clothing and footwear being worn.
(xiii) Neither man had any suitable means to attract attention to their predicament once they were in the water.
(xiv) Both men would have been subjected to the effects of cold water and would have found it difficult not to swallow seawater.
(xv) There was nothing on either of the two lifejackets to prevent them riding up over the heads of the victims or to prevent water splashing over their faces.
(xvi) Both men died from drowning.
(xvii) The alarm was raised once it was realised the dinghy was overdue and that initial inquiries had failed to identify her whereabouts.
(xviii) Once the alarm had been raised there was no delay in mounting a search and rescue operation.
(xix) The body of Mr Cracknell was located afloat among shoal water to the west of the Wells harbour channel about seven hours after the dinghy sailed.
Mr Fortescue's body was discovered six days later floating in the open sea, north of Cromer.
(xx) Both bodies were being kept afloat by fully inflated lifejackets. Had the lifejackets not been worn, there must be doubt about whether they would have been found so easily. The reflective tape on Mr Cracknell's lifejacket greatly assisted the Wells RNLI all weather lifeboat's ability to find it at night.
Primary cause
Because there were no survivors, physical evidence, or witnesses to this tragic accident, it is not possible to state with certainty what caused it. The investigation concludes, however, that the most likely cause was that she foundered in breaking waves at some stage while on passage between Burnham Overy and Wells-next-the-Sea harbours.
Underlying causes of the accident
(i) The decision to take Samphire of Wells around to Wells harbour by sea and not by road.
(ii) The unsuitability of Samphire of Wells to weather broken water in the open sea. Even if partially swamped she would have been vulnerable to capsize.
(iii) The dinghy occupants' lack of awareness of the sea state likely to be encountered during the passage.
(iv) The possibility that the engine failed while on passage.
Underlying reasons why neither of the occupants of the dinghy survived
(i) Lack of any inbuilt buoyancy in the dinghy.
(ii) The difficulties both victims would have found swimming in the clothing and footwear being worn.
(iii) Inability to preserve body heat once immersed in cold water.
(iv) Lack of any means to prevent breaking water covering the victims' faces.
(v) Lack of any means to prevent lifejackets from riding up over victims' heads.
(vi) Inability to attract anyone's attention once they were in the water.
The RNLI Sea Safety Liaison Working Group is recommended to:
1. Review its existing advice on the preservation of life for anybody finding themselves inadvertently in the water. Such a review should look at all small craft users including those who only go afloat occasionally. It should cover:

  • suitable clothing for the anticipated conditions;
  • preserving body heat;
  • the importance of having the most suitable lifesaving jackets for the intended activity;
  • ensuring lifejackets are properly fitted and secured;
  • effective means of attracting attention by a survivor in the water;
  • informing a responsible and knowledgeable person or coastguard of intentions, including the ETA, prior to departure and reporting the safe arrival on completion.

2. Review the means of promulgating basic safety advice to the occasional small boat user.
ALB - All weather lifeboat
cm - Centimetre
3 - Cubic metres
ETA - Estimated time of arrival
ILB - Inshore lifeboat
MAIB - Marine Accident Investigation Branch
MRCC - Maritime Rescue Co-ordination Centre
RNLI - Royal National Lifeboat Institution
Press enquiries 020 7944 4691
Out of hours: 020 7944 5925 or 5945 Public Enquiries Unit 020 7944 3000 E-mail: Web site
Published 29 March 2000

Bertrand Fortescue

The Delivery
Peter Devlin

Home shopping, customer credit and home delivery have
been with us for many years now. Harrods of London and J C Penney
have both had such a facility for many years.
Early one morning there is a ring at the doorbell (or
possibly the tradesmans' entrance). Once answered it proves to be
James Sheridan, the regular delivery driver for Harrods. He has a
large wicker basket full of goodies as ordered earlier that week.
However, the wrong items seem to have been delivered.

1 The basket contains the expected groceries and a severed
human finger (left hand ring finger, female, with engagement ring
included). It is neatly wrapped in brown paper and tied with
string, in a manner similar to a small parcel of butcher meat. It
has only recently been separated from its owner, not with
surgical precision but with skill nonetheless.
There is a letter inside a sealed envelope. Composed of
letters cut from the Times, it says Bring the 1000 to the train
station in time for the 19.45 express train to Dover.
The hallmark and inscription inside the ring allow it to
be traced via Herzberg Jewllers to its purchaser Basil Milton, a
minor aristocrat living in Belgravia. Basils intended, Miss Mary
Sheldon, was kidnapped two days ago during a walk on Hampstead
The identity of the kidappers is a mystery. They have an
unwitting accomplice who works for Harrods and it is he who
accidentally put the kidnappers demand in the wrong basket. If
apprehended he did not even know the contents of the parcel or
about the kidnapping, he was simply bribed to add a package to
a delivery.

2 The wrong basket has been delivered. It contains a picnic
meal for two (including a fine bottle of claret) and the first
sealed clue for a forthcoming weekend treasure hunt. The intended
recipient is Clytemnestra Poppelwell, a scatty heiress-to-be. If
the baskets are swapped back Clytemnestra will be keen to have
her rescuers join the treasure hunt with her.
The treasure hunt has been arranged by
Bertrand Fortescue,
a simply charming London socialite. He is the bastard son of
Arglye Poppelwell, Clytemnestras father. He plans to bump off
Clytemnestra during the treasure hunt, faking an accident. Then,
when old man Poppelwell finally dies of terminal gout, he will
inherit the family estates and fortune. He sees little trouble
in doing so as all of Clytemnestras friends are airheads just
like she is.

3 The basket contains a polished mahogany presentation
box 4 x 4 x 4. The inside is green velvet lined and contains an
odd grey/blue spherical rock formation just slightly larger than
a billiards ball. A handwritten card describes it as An unusually
hard opaque silicate formation, highly decorative and resistant
to accidental damage. The ideal paperweight.
The rock is a Cthonian egg, discovered by Ms. Erma Smits,
a moderately well known sculptor. She has been supplying small
original sculptures to the more exclusive stores for sale as
gifts and curios. Erma lives in Yorkshire where she finds natural
rock formations to be the ideal starting point for her pieces. She
unwittingly found the egg in the effluvium of a flash flood which
caused her local river to burst its banks. Some distance upriver
from her home is a tributary fed by The Spout, a fast-flowing
stream that emerges from the base of a large cliff face.
Someone has chosen the paperweight as a birthday gift for
the scholarly recluse in their life. It now represents a good
financial investment as the morning papers all contain the tragic
news that Ms. Erma Smitts, respected sculptor, was killed just
yesterday when her ramshackle cottage collapsed during a minor
earthquake. Other articles tell of small aftershocks which have
been occurring in the last 24 hours.

Copyright (c) 1997 Peter Devlin

Brenda Margaret Fortescue - 1932-2000

Fortescue_Brenda_Margaret X Don EDGE_1932-2000


Blanche and Lillian Fortescue - 1923